There are thousands of break-up songs in the pop music canon. And, we’ve all listened to them in the past when we needed to get over unrequited or lost love. And, as Elton John sang in Sad Songs, ‘from the lips of some old singer we can share the troubles we already know.’
However, divorce songs take the break-up to a whole new level. They can be cutting, bitter, regretful and moving as they often share the singer or songwriter’s very personal experience.
There are lots of brilliant divorce songs, but here’s my top five.
Abba – The Winner Takes It All
When writing a piece about the world’s greatest songs about or inspired by divorce, it would be hard not to include the single that was voted Britain’s Favourite Break-Up Song in a 2006 TV poll.
Apparently written about the deteriorating relationship between Bjorn Ulvaeus and Agnetha Faltskog, The Winner Takes It All topped the UK charts in 1980 and has repeatedly been voted the nation’s favourite Abba song in polls.
Whether it’s about the writer’s own separation (Ulvaeus says not, the basis of the song being “the experience of a divorce, but it’s fiction. There wasn’t a winner or a loser in our case. A lot of people think it’s straight out of reality, but it’s not”) or it’s simply a break-up song, The Winner Takes It All is arguably the most famous and best-loved divorce song of them all.
Alanis Morrisette – Underneath
Bearing in mind that most of her songs are written about personal experiences, it stood to reason that a difficult and traumatic break-up was always going to lead to Alanis Morrissette penning a less than complimentary song about her own situation.
When the Canadian singer-songwriter split with Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds, her following album, 2008’s Flavors of Entanglement, was written about the grief and pain she suffered after the break-up. It’s an album that must have made tough listening for Reynolds and lead single Underneath was particularly honest. Underneath opens ‘look at us break our bones in this kitchen/look at us rallying all our defences’ and whilst it’s technically not a divorce record – the pair were only engaged – it’s as bitter and honest a break-up record as exists in modern pop.
Kelly Clarkson – Because Of You
After shooting to superstardom by winning American Idol in 2002, Kelly Clarkson’s record label were reluctant to include the song Because Of You on either her debut album Thankful or the follow-up Breakaway.
Apparently written when Clarkson was sixteen years old to cope with the emotional trauma of her parent’s divorce, Because Of You was polished by producers Ben Moody and David Hodges and released as a single in 2005, reaching the top ten across the world.
From the opening line (‘I will not make the same mistakes that you did/will not let myself cause my heart so much misery’) it’s clear that this is a song written from deep personal experience of the effect that a divorce can have on a teenager. It’s a superb and moving pop record.
Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand – You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
Lots of songs about break-ups and divorces concentrate on giant, ethereal themes such as the end of love or the pain of the parting of the ways. Others take a bitter look at who is to blame or are written from the position of a child caught up in the split.
What I love about You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, however, is that it does the exact opposite. By concentrating on the tiny minutae of relationships it is somehow way more powerful than songs which talk in general terms.
I’d wager that ‘You hardly talk to me anymore/when you come through the door/at the end of the day’ is the most cutting, acerbic and honest lyric ever written in a break-up song. This is not a vague overview of the deterioration in a marriage; this is the day to day factors which see two people drift apart.
For these reasons, I think You Don’t Bring Me Flowers is the greatest break-up song of them all. Heart wrenching.
Jason Mraz – Love For A Child
The second divorce song written from a child’s perspective, Love For A Child features on Mraz’s bestselling 2008 album We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things. Loosely based on his parent’s own divorce when he was five years old, Love For A Child is a heartbreaking look at a parental split through the eyes of a small boy.
Mraz told the San Diego Union Tribune: “(One) line is from when my parents were busy not talking to each other. I could hide right down the middle (between them). I could tell my dad, ‘I’m going to my mom’s,’ and tell her, ‘I’m going to my dad’s,’ and then disappear for the weekend and learn (things) the hard way.”
Lyrics such as ‘Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around/well I’m far too old to care about that now’ and ‘it’s kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce/I’ve been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes/and taking drugs and making love at far too young an age/and they never checked to see my grades’ tell the tale of someone caught between two separated parents.
Mind you, there is affection in the song too. Mraz added: “At same time, I had a great upbringing from two families. And the freedom I had, I’m grateful for. You can’t live the rest of your life carrying a pain because your parents couldn’t get along. I choose to spend my life crafting a joy.”
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There’s my top 5 divorce songs. Any that you’d agree with? Any you’d add to the list? Let me know by commenting below.